This week’s blogs will be a three part series based on a parable I’ve written. Today is the actual parable and the beginning of the discussion. Make sure to catch parts two and three this week for the whole discussion. Enjoy.
We Are They – Part One
The Parable of We and They
Let me tell you a story…
In the Land of Responsibility lived a common man named We. We was very much like his fellow villagers living on the south slope of the Mountain of Self-reliance. We went about his daily tasks, always giving his best and proud to say “We did this” or “We did that.” We went to work. We dropped the children off at school. We took care of those less fortunate. Life was good for We. We had a happy life. We had everything We might hope for. We was living in the season of abundance and all was well.
On the other side of the mountain, on the north slope, was another group of people quite similar to We, yet the two had never met and saw no reason to do so. For as long as We could remember, there was really no reason to climb the Mountain of Self-reliance, so We would only state what We knew, “They live there.” All was well for We living on the south slope and They on the north. Until the seasons changed.
Seasons come and seasons go and only the foolish believe it is not so. The season of abundance, though enjoyed by all, eventually gives way to the season of lean. In this season, We had to work a little harder and eat a little less, and sometimes We wondered how They might be handling the season of lean. After a while, We began to question what They were going to do about it.
As the season of lean turned to the season of want, We became frustrated. We wanted to know what They had done to cause all of the problems his village was experiencing. We grumbled as We questioned, “What were They thinking?” “Why did They do this and why did They do that? Why did They let this happen?” It was obvious to We that They were doing something terribly wrong and making bad decisions which had turned We’s village’s good and happy life so sour.
We decided to give They a piece of his mind, so up the Mountain of Self-reliance We went. It was not an easy climb, but gradually We made it to the summit. We collected food along the way and made a shelter of branches each night of the journey. We found that the Mountain of Self-reliance was hard but satisfying. We found himself proud to say We climbed the mountain. Strangely, his habit of blaming They for all his problems seemed to fade as We took care of himself.
Finally making it to the summit, We observed the people below on the north slope. They seemed quite normal and very much like the people back home. They went to work. They took their children to school. They took care of those less fortunate. Surprisingly, They dealt with the same things that We did, even in the season of want. Then, We was startled as someone approached. They were from the village on the north slope and They looked and acted just like We did. The two stood and looked at each other, examining the similarities. After a long time, They spoke and said, “I’ve come to give you a piece of my mind and tell you to stop doing whatever you’ve done to cause our problems.” Then, without a further word, They walked away and went back down the mountain.
We thought about this for a while. They said to him exactly what We had intended to say to them. Could it be that on the north They are We and We are They? We began to wonder if They actually had anything to do with the problems We faced. We had blamed They and insisted that They take responsibility for We’s problems. But now We began to think that maybe We should take care of the problems on the south slope and let They do the same on the north slope. As We made his way back down to the south slope, We realized that We and They are the same. No longer would We blame They or demand that They do this or that. On the Mountain of Self-reliance, We became They and They became We. We became the leader of the south slope and no longer worried if They did the same, though We always wondered.
Playing the Blame Game
How many times can you remember hearing yourself or others say, “They should do something about this,” “What were they thinking?” or “Why did they do that?” For many, the demanding, blaming and questioning of “they” is a part of normal vernacular, almost to the point of making ‘they” some sort of mythical creature that is the root of all evils. It is just easier to put the blame on “they” than take personal responsibility for solving life’s problems. Somehow stating “They should do something about this” lets us off the hook. However, whether it be in our personal life or in our role as a leader of our organization, when we place the onus onto “they,” we abdicate our responsibilities as a leader. Although it is easier to blame “they” for our problems and demand “they” do something, we must do as the hero of our story did and climb the Mountain of Self-reliance, take in a broader perspective, stop blaming others, and return home committed to take personal responsibility for finding the solutions needed for the people we lead.
From the parable of We and They, we learn that as organizations move from seasons of abundance to seasons of want, they need self-reliant and reflective leaders who will develop an “It’s up to me attitude,” no longer blaming or deflecting responsibility to “they.” Authentic leaders are uniquely gifted to take on this challenge because of their level of self-awareness, commitment to personal development, and willingness to question their own personal assumptions, humbling themselves as they make changes in how they function and view others and the environment around them. The bottom line is that they must personally make the decision to develop their leadership capabilities and allow the circumstances they face to be a catalyst, rather than a deterrent, of their growth.