One of my students mentioned recently that he enjoyed the practice of self-examination. I responded that I, too, enjoyed the exercise and that our class would be taking a closer look at this in the near future as we took up the subject of emotional intelligence. In Daniel Goleman’s pioneering book, Primal Leadership, he makes the statement, “Great leaders are self-aware leaders,” which not only speaks to my student’s appreciation for self examination, but to the subject about which I decided to write this blog. In today’s post, I want to ask you a challenging question. It’s one which a self-examined and self-aware leader does regularly, and is this: when you look into your leadership mirror, do you see the reflection of a leader whom you would like to follow?
This question is easy to ask, but far more difficult to live. As said previously, it is challenging because each of us has qualities that are good and bad and reasons (or excuses) as to how we became the way we are. Often we can defend and justify the reflection we see staring back at us in the mirror. Most of us can look at ourselves and give a strong argument as to why the way we are is the right way to be and provide examples of how the people we lead follow us, even with our deficiencies. However, I don’t believe that should be the case. If we truly want to be the best leader we can be, we must be willing to take the challenge of being absolutely honest with ourselves. Then, be willing to work on what we see head on. It begins with self examination, which leads to self awareness.
Is your reflection that of a leader you want to follow? Ask yourself a few questions.
Do you practice what you preach, meaning, are your actions consistent with your words? When you give a pep talk to the team, are you willing to do the same things you are asking them to do, or at least, help them to do it?
Is your yes, yes, and your no, no? This is a matter of integrity. Your team needs to be able to believe what you say and know that when you provide them information, it is honest, accurate, complete, and timely.
Do you give away the praise when things go well, or do you make everything about you?
Are you confident and unthreatened by others when they do well, especially members of your team?
Are you humble, kind, generous, and open to hear what your team has to say?
There are many more questions which can be added to this list, but here’s a starting point. If you want to be a great leader, self awareness is a must, and it begins with self examination and the willingness to make changes to how you live and how you lead. So take a deep breath, look at your reflection, then do something about what you see. You’ll be a better leader when you do.
Lead well.