I believe that every so often it’s a good thing for leaders to seek out input from those they lead in order to discover what their team really thinks of them. By asking the question “What comes to mind when you think of your leader?,” we can find out where we stand and if we are truly functioning in the manner in which we desire, and more importantly how we are actually behaving. It may be startling what answers come back, particularly if you ask the question with the assurance that you sincerely want to know the truth and that there will be no repercussions following the exercise. As a leader, this is an important thing to do from time to time, but as a human, it requires dropping our ego and looking face-to-face at our strengths and weaknesses. Honestly looking in the mirror is not for the faint of heart.
A few years back I went through such an exercise as part of my Master’s studies in leadership development. I used an evaluation tool, “Best Reflected Self,” which was developed by Roberts & Spreitzer in 2006. In it, a leader asks some of their team members to identify strengths and weaknesses they see in the normal day-to-day functioning, as well as special projects and events. It was very eye-opening and helped me to see where I needed to improve and the unique areas of strengths I needed to develop further. Roberts & Spreitzer state, “Your best self is what makes you unique, rare, and difficult to imitate” and “Excellence is a function of uniqueness.”
My challenge today is for us all to open ourselves to this level of self-discovery and evaluation. I have found that there are some specific things people say when they are asked to describe how I lead and who I am. It’s one thing for one or two people to use certain phrases to describe me, but when a larger amount of people use the same words, it’s clear that they are all seeing the same thing. This is especially true in the areas in which I may have a blind spot and am either unable or unwilling to see them myself. What I have found is that these common descriptive phrases become how I am defined, like it or not. I may describe who I want to be, but if I don’t actually behave in a way that matches my description, others will see it. I may not like it, but their collective words are often a truer representation of who I really am than who I say I am.
So, how do you want to be defined? Some are defined by habits, hang-ups, and hurts, some by successes and personality, some by catastrophic events which took their lives in entirely different directions than they had planned. Whatever it is, we all become defined by something, good, bad, or otherwise, and it is the people around us, whether they be close associates or volunteer team members, who have the best vantage point to identify who we really are. I suggest you sincerely seek out their observations and listen to them. If you don’t like what you hear, change! The good news is that we can decide to move in new directions, act differently, and redefine who we are. I hope that I am defined differently in some areas than I was several years back when I took the Best Reflected Self evaluation. I guess I should now probably ask those around me to tell me what comes to mind when they think of how I lead and who I am! I hope you will, too.
Lead well.