We all have assets. For some, thery’re charm and good looks (not I, I must say!), and for many they are material and financial assets such as a house and investments. Some assets are personal, such as natural skills such as an inherent ability for the emotional intelligence competency of empathy, and others are learned skills that we use not only in the workplace, such as the ability to effectively negotiate, but also at home, where if one has teenagers, negotiation is a highly valuable asset. In fact, it is quite crucial for survival! There are many assets which help leaders to be effective. The list of the ones which we could put in the absolutely necessary column is quite long. One in particular, though, tops the list (or should). I just completed reading a long and complicated text for one of my courses which is about to begin. In it, Ackermann and Eden introduce the concept of “relationship assets.” From a business standpoint, the technical definition is “Higher levels of social capital which are known to increase the ongoing levels of trust in a group, helps groups establish new norms and expectations, adapt their identity, and support innovation and higher performance.” Whew! That is technical, but let’s break it down into a usable form.
Whether at home or at work, there are some things which are a part of relationship assets that can make our lives wonderful or horrible. First and foremost is trust. In the workplace the people you lead and work alongside must know that they can take you at your word. If you say something, you’d better deliver on it. How we behave must fit what we say. If, over time, your team members see that your words don’t always equate into action, the game is over. Of course, it’s even more important at home.
Next, humans like to have a certain level of certainty in their lives. We live in a time of turbulence and ambiguity, so in our closer relationships, like a group of peers at work or a family at home, we need to be able to count on certain “norms” to occur. That doesn’t mean we’re not flexible and willing to make changes, but when it comes to relationships, we and the people around us must have some things that we can count on. Support, empathy, encouragement and unconditional love and acceptance will make or break our relationship asset.
Identity is wrapped up in how others treat us and how we treat them. Families and work teams alike develop a shared identity that can be positive or negative; it is a matter of how each of us choose to treat each other. If we are respectful, supportive and tolerant, we develop a shared identity that allows for deep connection, however, if our shared identity is adversarial, once again, it’s game over.
Finally, I’m one who has always wanted to be dreaming new dreams and reaching new levels. Innovation and performance are both important parts of who I am. In my relationships, I try to challenge the people around me to do the same. I recently met with a student of mine from many years ago who started to ask me questions about what I would do in his circumstance. It was very humbling and rewarding that he would do that, and it made me realize that even when I was young and foolish, I was still getting one thing right – I was challenging my students to be creative and to reach for high standards. His asking me my opinion proved that I had instilled in him some of the same approaches that I use in life and when I’m leading others. Plus, it was very clear to me that I had made a tremendous investment in my relationship assets that over two decades later was paying off, right before my eyes.
As you manage your assets, don’t forget the most important one – people. Never allow the tasks that must be done to get in the way of the individuals who are standing with you. Whether at home or at work, it’s the people that really matter.
Lead well