One of my favorite things in the whole wide world is ice cream. It’s terrible for me, but just about every time I have earned a treat, I will chose to eat a big bowl of ice cream. Sometimes I use it as an incentive to finish a project, a paper, or even a blog post! I love ice cream, so it is the inspiration for this week’s blog on All Things Leadership. Recently I had just finished a work week in my “day job,” had responded to a bunch of students for my professor “gig” and had turned in two very large papers for my doctoral program. It had been a busy week and my brain was fried. There was only one thing that would end the week with a flourish…ice cream! So, I called to the next room where my favorite teenager was also doing homework and asked if she had time to go to our place of creamy goodness, and off we went, of cours, calling my wife and inviting her, too. We had a great time and I loved every bite. On the way home, my favorite teenager made an immensely profound statement that applies to each of us who call ourselves leaders. I had just said, “I am full of ice cream!” Then she said this brilliant, deep, and profound statement.” She said, “It’s better to be full of ice cream than be full of yourself!” WOW! What an incredible nugget of truth! As leaders, the last thing we should ever be is full of ourselves. Confidence, vision, inspiration, encouragement, optimism, willingness to take risks, and so much more…YES. But full of ourselves? NO! People are looking for authentic leaders who will lead in humility, grace, love, empathy, and compassion. Servant leaders build on that and add their desire to serve others first and put their own needs aside. Selfless leaders then add doing everything for the benefit of others, giving away the spotlight, and always encouraging others to be more than they ever dreamed they could be. When a leader focuses on the people they serve, there’s no room left for them to be full of themselves. Others fill up all the space inside them. Research shows that people want to follow someone who is looking out for what’s best for the team, the organization, and especially the people within the group, not just as team members, but as individuals with real lives. Next to integrity, empathy (caring for others) ranks right at the top of some of the lists of the most desired leadership characteristics people want in their leader. Unfortunately, when leaders are full of themselves, they don’t have room for anyone else, but, when they are others focused, commitment, loyalty, enthusiasm and effectiveness skyrocket. People always respond to positive encouragement. One of my favorite authors on this kind of leadership is Graham Standish. In his book, Humble Leadership, he speaks of leaders who are God and others-focused to the point that they no longer are living for their own advancement, but the advancement of greater purpose. These leaders are self-aware, empathetic, willing to listen, and committed to the good of others. This is the type of leader we should all work to become. They are full of everything but themselves. You may want to pick up a copy of Standish’s book, or the classic On Becoming a Servant Leader by Greenleaf. They’ll help you develop an “others” focus. If nothing else, from here on out, each time you take a bite of ice cream, remember the wise words of my favorite teenager, “It’s better to be full of ice cream than full of yourself!” Lead well.