I believe leaders must have the courage and conviction to speak truth in love to their team, their superiors, and the general public, and be equally willing to hear the truth from all stakeholders, especially members of their immediate team. Leaders without the emotional intelligence competency of empathy (Goleman, Boyatzis, & McKee, 2002) and the skill of compassionate communication will find that due to their harsh delivery, they repel the people they desire to influence. At the same time, organizations, and their leaders, that only hear what they want to hear will soon find their effectiveness in the marketplace diminishing as competitors who are willing to hear the hard news and make changes pass them by. The term “truth in love” refers to the valuable scripture passage Ephesians 4:15 (New King James Version), which serves as a starting point for my recommendation as to how leaders should treat others when truth is in need of being expressed. I believe that speaking and hearing the truth in love is vitally important as a leadership issue of today.
“Speaking the truth in love” (Eph.4:15, NKJV) is often used by some Christian leaders as a justification for rude behavior and harsh criticism and judgment of others, allowing them to become their own worst enemy and pushing away the very people they say they want to reach. Field observation has shown that some leaders hide behind the contemporary mantra of “just sayin” to justify their inconsiderate and hurtful speech, especially evident in electronic communications such as email, texts, and social media. Somehow because the one speaking is looking at a screen instead of the eyes of another human being, it has become easier and acceptable to be harsh, judgmental, rude, and unkind. Many of the things said electronically might very possibly never be spoken if they were said in a face-to-face meeting, which is addressed in studies of the practice of implementing “digital citizenship” (Villano, 2008) in groups with a high volume of social media use.
Also, I’ve observed that some modern American business leaders have become less willing to tell others what they actually need to hear. I have witnessed organizations where the standard practice of the employees is to consistently respond to the top executive with only what he wants to hear, never speaking truth as it applies to what is desperately needed to move the organization in a positive direction. Because of this, the team morale is decimated, its effectiveness minimal, and the organization stagnant, leaving the senior leader as the only one believing things are okay because they are never told the truth. Due to a desire to be politically correct or to advance in an organizational structure which coddles superiors, truth is often set aside in favor of insincere flattery and tacit approval of poor behavior through the holding of one’s tongue so as not to offend. Gellerman wrote, “If a particular course of action, such as expressing an unpopular position, might endanger one’s job, then security considerations motivate a person to not take that course of action”(as cited by Hersey, Blanchard & Johnson, 2008, p.36).
Recognizing that this is a complex problem which will require further research and a complex solution, one recommendation to begin to answer this issue on an organizational level is for leaders to provide what Bennis (1970) called a psychologically safe environment that insures and encourages open and honest communication for everyone regardless of their role or position, without the possibility of retribution by superiors, peers, or subordinates. Each team member must be also willing to treat each other with respect and communicate in a manner that promotes unity and cooperation, even and especially when there is disagreement. Truth must be heard by and from leaders if the people and organizations they serve are to benefit, however, how it is communicated and received must be done with compassion, tact, and love. I believe great leaders do it this way and you can too!
Lead well.