In the twenty-ninth book of Proverbs it says, “Do you see a man who is hasty in his word? There is more hope for a fool than for him.” (Proverbs 29:20, English Standard Version)
If there is anything which I’ve learned as a student of leadership, it is that how we treat others is as important as anything else we do. Our followers, our clients, our family members, and people in general must be treated in a way that honors them, gives them value, and lets them know that they aren’t simply an imposition to us as we get on with our daily tasks, or merely a tool for us to use to get what we want. Everyone is important, and it is a leader’s responsibility to treat them that way in the things we do, the considerations we give, the time we take, and especially in the words we speak. It boggles my mind sometimes to hear the things that people actually say to each other, whether directly or indirectly, openly or behind closed doors, person-to-person or in a manner for all to hear or read, especially when being spoken by someone viewed as a leader. The bottom line is, words matter. Leaders must choose their words carefully and think about in what context they communicate them. As the proverb above states, hasty words are the language of the foolish. Good leaders think before they speak.
I recently met a leader for the first time. I was impressed with their attention to the people around them. Even though we were meeting to discuss some important things, this leader was very aware of each person who also happened to be in the coffee shop we were in. Excusing himself, he went and greeted those who were a part of his leadership influence. With each, it was clear that they were important to him. I know each person felt valued. Later, after I had spent some time with this leader, I felt affirmed and valued as well. This leader knew that the way he treated others and the words he used mattered. In contrast, I recently heard of a leader who did the opposite. Instead of affirming those they led, words chosen were hasty and hurtful. I felt embarrassed for the people it affected, and it served as a great reminder to me, as one learning how to be a good leader, or how not to treat others. With these two examples in mind, I want to reprint a small portion of my book All Things Leadership, which introduced the concept of selfless leadership. The following is one of the principles which selfless leaders live by.
Always Encourage
Selfless leaders put others first. They always encourage their team members, whether in private, publicly, face-to-face, electronically, or through social media. Selfless leaders always build others up, never putting down or calling out members of their team in order to enforce their positional power or to cover for their own feelings of inadequacy or fear.
Far more can be written on this behavior, but let’s focus on just the first part, “They (selfless leaders) always encourage their team members.” Note that I didn’t say that they encourage when it’s strategic, or when it’s easy, or just in private, but always. Great team members need to know that they are wanted, respected, and valued. If they ever, even for a moment, feel otherwise, they start walking down the path which leads them to eventually take their talents elsewhere. It doesn’t matter how much money they are paid, or what perks come with the job – to keep great team members, they must be consistently encouraged by the one they follow. In the book Creating Magic (2008) by Lee Cockerell, former executive vice president of operations for Walt Disney World Resort, he states, “When people feel valued for the talents and skills they bring to the team, their level of commitment soars.”
Throughout the last 50 years or so, the topic of leadership has been a continual topic of discussion, and there have been many great examples of leaders who knew how to motivate their teams to excellence through training, accountability, goal setting, recognition, and encouragement. An incomplete list of those leaders includes Charlie “Tremendous” Jones, Zig Ziglar, T.D. Jakes, and many more. Another example also comes to mind, someone who has devoted his leadership life to “adding value to everyone” with whom he comes in contact. Of course this is John Maxwell, one of the top leadership experts of our time. Through the many books of his I have read, and the times I have heard him speak, I know that he lives out the concept of always encouraging his team, and anyone else in the room. Maxwell reminds us in The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership (1998) that “You can’t move people to action unless you first move them with emotion. The heart comes before the head.” I would add that you won’t have a chance to move the head if the heart isn’t encouraged first. That’s why selfless leaders must always encourage, and then their follower will do as Maxwell states: “rise to our level of expectation.”
Cockerell states, “…you can’t achieve true excellence unless you attract great people, develop great people, and keep great people.” Selfless leaders understand that a key requirement for keeping great people is to encourage them at all times. It’s not only good for the team, it’s good for the team member. Everyone needs to know that they are wanted, respected, and valued – particularly by the leader they follow.
Let’s not be hasty with our words. Always encourage. Always.
Lead well.